And Then Fix Your Rough Draft Cuz It's Ugly

Hey Chloe,
Your rough draft is very well written and you show a lot of strong points. I enjoy reading what you think about digitalization and it's affect on our community. I see a lot of strong examples in your paper and I like this. It seems to me your ideas broadened a whole lot within a couple of days. What I do think you should take a second look at is maybe talk about the alternative point of view to the situation such as keeping in touch with friends and family or how digitalization is helping technology grow therefore helping people. Other than that I think your paper is headed in a really good direction and I can't wait to read the final product : )

Hi Conor,
First of thanks for completing your rough draft. I think your thesis is clear and direct. I see your evidence and I know where your getting at but I think in the final paper you are going to need to expand a whole lot more. Using specific quotes may help. My other suggestion would be to communicate it back to what concerns you about our world feeding into this digital frenzy. Again I see where your going with your arguements but I think I need to see some more connecting it back to the world. You should also try analyzing your arguments a little more. Maybe seeking alternatives or sources that support your idea might help. That's all I can say. I'm out