Hey Conor,
I think that the way your outline was made is extremely clear and interesting. It makes me want to read more about what you wrote and think deeper of our thesis. The only suggestion I have is to maybe write a little more professional just in case Andy gives a shit. Other than that I think you on good track. I'll be back to your page soon.
Peace out homie g
My little Asian beauty,
I like the ideas your choosing to analyze in your essay. I like how you used different sources and did not just make up everything you said. I'm going to do this for my paper now because it makes it more professional. Another thing I like about your outline is the way you use real life examples such as yourself playing video games or me texting. It helps connect the reader to your paper. I feel like you should concentrate more on how Feed can be connected to your paper (which your probably going to do). Other than that I think it's a good start and I look forward to reading more.
P.S. Your right next to me = D Ily <3
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